Is Love a Distraction?: 3 Questions Any Student Should Ask Before Saying Yes To A Relationship

Kelvin came into the University of Jos as a Jambite and his goal was to smash a first-class degree by the end of his program as a civil engineer. During the freshmen welcome program, he met several freshmen just like him. He made friends with a good number of them. There was one of the freshmen he met who seem to be different from the others but more like him. Her name is Starr. Starr and Kelvin wanted to graduate school topping their class, they also happened to have a lot in common which made them get along more. Starr was a student of International Relations. Both of them would meet after lectures to read and work on their assignment. As much as they had other friends they studied with, they were still pretty much closer to each other. After the first semester, both of them could not deny what they felt for each other anymore but at the same time, they didn’t want to be distracted from their studies. Kelvin loved Starr and would do anything to be with her but he wanted to keep his academic performance on the best level. He was sharing his situation with a friend when he asked “Can Love Be A Distraction?”

Just like Kelvin and Starr, a lot of young people fall into this same dilemma of how to manage their love life or if to ever give love a chance at all as it may grow to become a distraction in a certain session of their lives. Many young people tend to ask questions like “Should I be in a relationship as a student?” “What happens when I fall in love?” “How do I manage love and life?” All these questions and more will be answered in this article.

Before we dive fully into it, let’s define distraction.

According to Wikipedia, Distraction is the process of diverting the attention of an individual or group from a desired area of focus and thereby blocking or diminishing the reception of desired information.

As a young person, you might find yourself burning with so much love for the person that you love but there is a need to understand the seasons that you are in so that you will know what is required of you at that time. Ecclesiastes 3: 2-8 tells us how God has structured time for every activity in life. Science has also told us that every organism has its seasons rhythm that they follow. Hence, the importance of understanding seasons.

Ecclesiastes 3:9 has the key question “What do we gain from all our work?” This verse might be talking about a bigger picture but let’s bring it into this context. What do you want to gain from this particular season? The knowledge of this will direct your steps even as a young person.

Love can be a distraction if you don’t understand what you want out of each season. Below are 3 questions anybody, be it a student or working class, no matter what season you are should ask.

1. What season of life am I in?

It is important to be clear on what season of life you are in. A student needs to realize that he is in a season of learning and improving and that will lead him to the next question.

2. What do I want from this season or what do I want to achieve from this season?

This will be a guide to let you know what it takes to achieve your dreams in that season. The third question should then follow:

3. What could stop me from achieving this goal?

For some, being in a relationship might stop them from achieving their set goals in that season, for others, it might be taking a job, for another person, it might be spending too much time with their partner. Whatever it may be, you need to recognize what would stop you from achieving those goals.

Now to the question, “Is Love a Distraction?”

In its original context, love is not a distraction but when one does not understand seasons and their requirements, love is capable of swaying them from the important things they ought to do and achieve.

As for Kelvin and Starr, they decided to hold their peace and stay as friends till their third year in school. They decided to face their academics first and achieve their goals of being first-class students before fully starting a relationship. They were able to decide this because they understood their season, what they wanted from the season, and what could be a distraction to their goals. So just like Kelvin and Starr, answer the above questions and be sure that love will not distract you.

This article is a guest post by Oluwadamilotun Bonita Falola. She is a relationship coach and blogger at Lolonyo.

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